Saturday, March 07, 2009
Wounded... aw, the pain!
I'm reading contest entries at the moment... I have to confess that while I still love reading erotica/erotic romance I'm damned hard to impress. These days it has to be something really darn evocative to make me sit up and pay attention, and most of what I'm seeing just isn't.
The thing is, it's not specifically bad writing. It's just lacking... magic. And by magic, I mean that special quality that makes you route for the characters and remember them long after the story is complete. Mostly what I'm seeing is minimal build up, conflict that has nothing to do with the erotic content of the story and instant attraction & you're the love of my life, lets do the humpy bumpy, but we're not normally like this (honest) we are wholesome and pure, and will soon be setting up home with kiddies, a dog and a nice picket fence.... bleurk!
Now, I don't mind sex on the first page. I don't mind reading about folks picking up strangers and having awesome sex and a relationship developing from that, but it's got to believable for the characters and there has to be passion involved somewhere... The following does not (as a general rule) a good story make...
I'm a really good girl, but I'm horny and the guy who is eyeing me up is hot. Oh, lookie, the big arrogant stalkerish twerp has just grabbed my arse before introductions have even occurred (stalker cause freaky-deaky, he already knows my name). Two seconds later and he has his hands in my knickers and is copping a good feel. Oooh! That's interesting, I've never done anal sex, but he's already got a finger up my arse, and we haven't even exchanged names yet. But hey, that's all right, because he's thinking about how un-easy I am, and how he really needs to introduce me to his mum. Cue twelve chapters of random sex scenes with a minuscule plot about rescuing the heroine from herself/aliens/vampires/foreigners/insert other... (and probably does on a number of occasions in a variety of locations.)
Am I jaded...? Yup!
Please folks... use all five senses, give me an actual description of the setting, and character descriptions that are more than eyes (check), hair (check), hot (checkety-check), cock (oh, boy is he hung...check!)
Oh, and has there been a blanket ban on kissing while I wasn't looking? I mean it's kinda nice, and it does generally occur before you get to the sex...maybe...please...pretty please, with cherries on top, and a flake if you like.
I'm going to go skulk back under my rock now.
Recently watched: Indiana Jones & the Crystal wotsit
Currently listening to: Nothing, my head is too hurtie.
Currently reading: Tongue in Cheek by Fiona Walker, and about a dozen other things.